Beach Day

Today we went to the beach. It was awesome to get away from the city for the day and spend some time relaxing with the other teachers. 

Tiffany and me

Best of both worlds- the mountains and ocean

           

Tomorrow is in Your hands

I am so blessed by my roommate Kellyanne. I love our late night talks about who God is and what is He is doing in our hearts. 

Kellyanne wrote a song a few years back titled "Tomorrow is in your hands." She played it tonight for me. I was reminded of God's goodness, love and sovereignty. 

Here are the lyrics:

"I don't need to know tomorrow. All I need to know is You are good. I don't need to know the beginning and the end. You are faithful. I choose not to fear tomorrow because I know you walk before me. Your plans they are good. Your way is perfect. I choose to believe you will guide me." 

an excerpt from my journal

"....I am really discouraged. I feel like I am the biggest failure and loser alive. I feel like I have nothing to offer, and I feel like I am good for nothing.

I feel like I can't do anything well. I can’t sing. I can’t play volleyball. I can’t speak Creole. I don’t have any good hobbies. I can’t cook. I can’t bake. I am not godly enough. 

God I know those things are so silly but that is honestly how I am feeling. I know that I need to find my value and my worth in you. Help me to do that. I am out of my comfort zone in Haiti. Instead of clinging to you and trying to find my worth in you, I want to cling and find it in what people think of me.

Help me not to compare myself to others. Help me to believe and trust that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Help me to know that my faith and my worth does not come from my feelings and what I think of myself. My worth and value also does not come from what others think of me. Help me to find my value in what you think of me.

God you loved me SO much you sent your son to die for me on the cross. You sent Jesus to die in my place so that I could live forever and be in a relationship with you. Help me to believe that. Help me to truly know that you are enough and you need to be the only things that matters to me.

God help me cling to you. Help me take the focus off myself and put the focus on you. 

Change my heart. Show me what it looks like to love you more each day and bring glory to your name...." 

I really miss Boone.

I miss the mountains. 

I miss hiking. 

I miss being outside. 

I miss my friends. 

I miss college life. 

I miss football. 

I miss the cooler weather. 

I miss Chickfila and Diet Dr. Pepper. 

My 2nd graders

A weekend in the country!

This weekend has been wonderful and relaxing. Mrs. Graham, the 4th grade teacher at QCS, invited KellyAnne and I out to her place for the weekend. Her husband and her have lived in Haiti for 6 years and work with CSI missions. It has been such a blessing getting to know them.

This morning we went on a hike to an old pineapple plantation. 

Makes me miss the mountains of North Carolina.

It was so nice to see green.

Old remains from some buildings on the plantation 

This weekend has been filled with great conversations, fun card games, and tasty home cooked meals. I continually am overwhelmed with God's goodness and faithfulness. I am amazed at how he loves me and lavishes his blessings upon me.

Thank you, Jesus!

Supermarket Escapade

Today after school Amber, Josiah, Nathaniel, and I went to Eagle. I was very proud of myself for only going to the grocery store once this week. I went in to buy my weekly supply of Special K Cereal and Coca Cola Light. I might go poor buying these things every week but it is completely worth the $14.00 that it brings me in happiness. 

Amber and I had checked out and were waiting on the boys when all of a sudden a fight broke out. These two men dressed in business attire started hitting, punching, and kicking each other. Before we knew it the security men swarm in from outside with their guns. All the Haitians that were around started screaming, "kill him. kill him. kill him." After a few minutes things settled down and the men were escorted to the front of the store to sort things out. Apparently the fight was over a man trying to steal a bottle of mouthwash. Someone must have told him he really had bad breath ;) 

I have started to realize that Haitian culture is a culture of extremes. Extreme differences in the wealthy class and poor class. Extreme differences in the way people treat you. A perfect example of this extremity is found with the Creole language. You either hate someone (rayi) or love them (renmen). There is no word for liking someone. 

As I was walking back down the street from the supermarket, I started to think about the extremes in my own heart when it comes to my faith.  I can be all about God one moment and the next moment forget everything. 

I am reminded that my relationship with God is not based on my feelings. It is not about what I do and how I feel, rather it is completely about what Jesus did on the cross for me. I am challenged to live each day for Christ allowing Him alone to direct my paths.